


Life is Pretty Gay Here in Duckburg

by SunsetCorvid



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Incorrect Quotes, Multi, gay shit, let’s go, might be a bit ooc sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:20:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27205802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunsetCorvid/pseuds/SunsetCorvid
Summary: Just a bunch of incorrect quotes. I tried to make them as accurate as possible.Hope you enjoy this :)
Relationships: Della Duck/Penumbra, Dewey Duck & Gosalyn Mallard, Dewey Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck & Webby Vanderquack, Dewey Duck & Webby Vanderquack, Drake Mallard & Gosalyn Mallard & Launchpad McQuack, Drake Mallard/Launchpad McQuack, Gosalyn Mallard/Violet Sabrewing, Lena (Disney: DuckTales) & Violet Sabrewing, Lena (Disney: DuckTales) & Violet Sabrewing & Webby Vanderquack, Lena (Disney: DuckTales)/Webby Vanderquack
Comments: 6
Kudos: 131





	1. The Beginning of Quotes

**Lena:** Webby’s gone, so I’m gonna cut all the sleeves off my shirts.

**Violet:** Why?

**Lena:** She’s, like, 90% of my impulse control.

* * *

**Dewey:** The existence of watermelons could only mean that there is an earthmelon, firemelon, and an airmelon. These are the Elemelons.

* * *

**Dewey:** Hey, Louie! Wanna hang out with me and Huey?

**Louie:** Generic excuse.

**Huey:** Did you just say “generic excuse”?

**Louie:** ...

**Louie:** Yes.

* * *

**Lena:** If you made a belt out of watches, it would be a waist of time and a waste of time.

**Violet:** Lena, it is 2:00AM. Please, go to sleep.

* * *

**Violet:** Did you forget to do the dishes?

**Lena, drinking out of a flowerpot:** What gave you that idea?

* * *

**Della:** It’s pretty muggy outside.

**Donald:** If I go outside and find all our mugs on the lawn, I will kill you.

_** [Della takes a sip of coffee from a bowl.] ** _

* * *

**Dewey:** Minty is just cold spicy.

**Louie:** Or spicy is just hot minty.

**Huey:** ...

* * *

**Webby:** What time is it?

**Dewey, looking at the microwave:** 52? Dang, it’s late.

* * *

**Lena:** Our relationship?

**Webby:** We’re friends.

**Lena:** Good friends.

**Webby:** Girlfriends, actually.

**Lena:** Yes, we’re girlfriends.

**Webby:** We’re in love. We’re lovers.

**Lena:** We’re lesbians, gay-type lovers

* * *

**Violet:** What’s your biggest weakness?

**Lena:** I can be uncooperative.

**Violet:** Give me an example.

**Lena:** No.

* * *

**Gosalyn, T-posing in front of Drake:** Good morning, parental figure.

**Drake, not looking away from his coffee:** Good morning, problem child.

* * *

**Steelbeak:** I am going to destroy you!

**Gosalyn:** Hold on, let me ask my dad.

**Steelbeak:** That’s not how this works-

**Gosalyn, getting off the phone with Drake:** He said no.

* * *

**Dewey:** Bigfoot, but shaven.

**Gosalyn:** Mr. Clean.

**Drake:** You two are the reason I have anxiety.

* * *

**Steelbeak:** Give me one good reason I shouldn’t punch your face in.

**Gosalyn:** My teeth are not yet ready to be harvested.

* * *

**Violet:** People assume I’m only half gay since I’m bisexual, but that’s wrong. I’m one complete straight girl and one complete lesbian fused together into one singularity. I’m 200% sexuality.

**Lena:** And overwhelming amount of power, really.

* * *

**Webby:** Hey, I’m lesbian.

**Dewey:** I thought you were American.

* * *

**Scrooge:** And that concludes our plan.

**Della:** Alright, Huey. You’re up.

_** [Huey gets up and faces everyone.] ** _

**Huey:** Now, let’s see how much you’ve been paying attention.

_** [A screen lights up and Kahoot! music begins playing.] ** _

* * *

**Drake:** You just tried to break into a building.

**Gosalyn:** Be gay, do crimes lol.

* * *

**Dewey:** At times like this, I wish I listened to what Uncle Donald told me when I was younger.

**Webby:** Why, what did he say?

**Dewey:** I don’t know, I didn’t listen.

* * *

_** [At the zoo.] ** _

**Lena:** What are they in for?

**Violet:** Lena, this isn’t a prison.

**Lena:** So, they can leave?

**Violet:** Well, no, but-

**Lena, pointing at a penguin:** I bet that one murdered someone.


	2. Quotes 2 Electric Boogaloo

**Violet:** I think Gosalyn is poisoning me.

**Webby:** Why?

**Violet:** Whenever I see her my heart rate picks up and I start to sweat.

**Lena:** She’s not poisoning you, that just means you like her.

**Violet:** ...

**Violet, blushing:** That duck-

* * *

**Dewey:** We have to be careful. One of us is possessed by an owl.

**Launchpad:** Who?

**Dewey:** See, that’s the thing. We don’t...!

* * *

**Donald:** Why are you following me?

**Louie:** Huey and Dewey told me to follow my dreams.

**Donald:** So, I’m your dream?

**Louie:** No, you just happened to be going to KFC as well.

* * *

**Interviewer:** How many children do you have, Mr. McDuck?

**Scrooge:** Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there IS a difference.

* * *

**Dewey:** Hey.

**Huey:** What do you want?

**Dewey:** Are you still mad at me?

**Huey:** Are you still a sandwich thief?

* * *

**Penumbra:** I don’t have friends, and I don’t want any.

**Della:** Bold words coming from someone who’s within my hugging range.

* * *

**Louie:** I have many hidden talents.

**Huey:** Like what?

**Louie:** I wouldn’t know, they’re hidden.

* * *

_** [A burning building in the distance. Della is covered in ashes.] ** _

**Della:** So, you wanna know how I figured out the difference between cooking paper and parchment paper?

* * *

**Dewey, upon finding a spider in the kitchen:** I’ve found the fabledkitchen boss fight.

**Della:** Which is?

**Dewey:** The giant enemy spider.

_** [They both start beat boxing an epic boss battle theme as Dewey grabs a broom to get rid of the spider.] ** _

* * *

**Lena:** Fuck.

**Beakley:** Language.

**Lena:** English or French? Take your pick.

* * *

**Webby:** What time is it?

**Dewey:** I don’t know, pass me the kazoo.

_** [The beautiful sound of a kazoo screeching fills the mansion.] ** _

**Scrooge, from the other room:** WHO THE BLOODY HELL IS PLAYIN’ THE KAZOO AT 3 O’ CLOCK IN THE MORNIN’!?

**Dewey:** It’s 3:00AM.

* * *

**Gosalyn:** Knocking is just punching someone’s house until they talk to you. 

**Violet:** Please go to sleep.

* * *

_** [Texting] ** _

**Huey:** Hey.

**Dewey:** I’m busy

**Dewey:** I just ate glass by accident.

**Huey:** What?

**Dewey:** Please leave me alone.

**Dewey:** I ate glass.

* * *

**Lena:** L is for the way you look at me.

**Webby:** O is for the only one I see.

**Violet:** V is very, very, extraordinary. 

**Gosalyn:** ...

**Gosalyn:** Egg.

* * *

**Launchpad:** Gosalyn, what do you have say?

**Drake:** What do you have to say for yourself, Gos.

**Gosalyn:** ...

**Gosalyn:** This video was sponsored by- 

* * *

**Beakley:** Swear words are now illegal. If you say one, you’ll be fined.

**Lena:** Heck.

**Beakley:** You’re on thin fucking ice.

**Beakley:** Oh no.

* * *

**Lena, before getting adopted:** I’m homeless, I’m lesbian, I have trauma, and I’m new in town.

* * *

**Gosalyn:** Fuck gender norms! I’m going to Jupiter to get more stupider!

* * *

**Beakley:** How are you not dead, yet?

**Scrooge:** Spite.

* * *

**Lena:** I want someone to take me out.

**Violet** : Like, on a date? Or with a sniper?

**Lena:** Surprise me.

* * *

**Webby:** How do you cope with your own mortality?

**Huey:** Violent outbursts.

**Louie:** I don’t.

**Dewey:** Due to past experiences, I’m pretty sure I’m actually immortal.


	3. Quotes: The Threequel

**Della:** We have stop normalizing the idea that math makes sense.

**Della:** It DOESN’T make sense. It’s ridiculous. At this point I think you guys are changing the rules every time I look them up to confuse me.

**Della:** What the fuck is “y=mx+b?” How does it make a line? It doesn’t make sense.

**Della:** If anyone you know or love does try to tell you that math makes sense, it’s just because they have a crush on Pythagoras and they need to own up to that.

**Della:** I have a high school-level mathematic education and I still don’t know how to calculate a tip. The system is rigged. Don’t beat yourself up. Fuck math.

* * *

**Lena:** I’m not a religious person.

**Lena:** But if you’re out there, giant rat who makes all of the rules...

* * *

**Gosalyn:** I’m very glad that women.

* * *

**Huey:** You know what really gets my goat?

**Louie:** El Chupacabra.

* * *

**Louie:** I want to take this moment to thank all of you out there, for all of the generous donations you may or may not be aware that you just made.

* * *

**Police Officer:** I’m pulling you over because you were trying to fit four people on a motorcycle.

**Gosalyn, with Violet, Webby, and Lena sitting behind her:** Wait, four?

**Police Officer:** Yes, you and the three behind you-

**Gosalyn:** Oh shit! Dewey fell off!

* * *

**Webby:** Imagine getting paid for being cute.

**Lena:** You’d be rich.

**Webby, blushing:** I-I, um-

* * *

**Scrooge:** What a good day.

**Della:** Do you think flies call us ‘walks’?

**Scrooge:** Yep. There it is.

* * *

**Webby:** Alright, I dare you-

**Huey:** Dewey isn’t allowed to take dares.

**Webby:** Why?

**Dewey, head bowed in shame:** I have no regard for my personal safety.

* * *

**Drake:** You know, when you said “magic in bed” this isn’t what I was expecting.

**Launchpad, holding the ace of spades:** Is this your card?

**Drake, whispering:** Holy shit.

* * *

**Violet:** Are you really going to play the entire Splatoon soundtrack at our wedding?

**Gosalyn:** Are we really going to get married if you have to ask that question?

* * *

**Violet:** Gosalyn, you've lost a lot of blood and you're going to need a transfusion. What's your type?

**Gosalyn:** Oh, uh, purple, cute, very smart-

**Violet, blushing:** Wh- no, Gosalyn, your blood type.

**Gosalyn:** Oh.

**Gosalyn:** ...

**Gosalyn:** Red?

* * *

**Webby, bad at flirting:** I really like your name.

**Lena, equally as bad at flirting:** Thanks, I made it myself.

* * *

**Dewey:** Remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set?

**Huey:** No, I said, “Dewey, don’t lick the swing set,” and you said, “Don’t tell me what to do, Huey,” and then you licked the swing set.

* * *

**Scrooge:** A good response to “how old are ye’?” is something along the lines of, “don’t know, stopped countin’ after the first few centuries.”

* * *

**Gosalyn:** If you ever disrespect me again,I will eat your shower curtains.

**Dewey:** I have... glass doors?

**Gosalyn:** Well crunchity munchity then. You think that will stop me?

* * *

**Dewey:** Hey, I have kind of a crazy idea.

**Huey:** Those are never comforting words coming from you.

* * *

**Gosalyn:** We’re as thick as thieves!

**Dewey:** Yeah!

**Gosalyn:** As juicy as burglars!

**Dewey:** Wait-

**Gosalyn:** Just a couple dummy thicc steal boys.

**Dewey:** Please stop-

* * *

**Donald:** You three, explain now.

**Huey, Dewey, and Louie:** It was Dewey!

**Dewey:** ... Shit.

* * *

**Dewey:** Mom, there’s a monster under my bed.

**Dewey:** It’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

**Louie, who sleeps on the bottom bunk:** Why do you hate me, brother?

* * *

**_ [Webby added Dewey and Lena to the group chat.] _ **

**Webby:** Lena, I’ve always had a crush on you.

**Lena:** Okay, cool, same. Why is Dewey here, though?

**Webby:** He’s here for moral support.

**Dewey:** I’m here for you girl.

**Dewey:** Do your thing.


	4. Quotes 4: The Return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating this in, like, a month. I've been busy with school and kind of forgot about this. I'm kind of surprised this got past 50 kudos, lmao. Anyways, I'm back. With more quotes. Hope you guys enjoy this new chapter :))

**Dewey:** I couldn’t remember the word for “library,” so I said “book ranch,” and Gosalyn thought it was so funny that they’re trying to think of a new word for librarians.

 **Gosalyn:** Cowbook? Like, cowboy, book? No. This is hard. Readchers?

 **Dewey:** This ends with them screaming,

 **Gosalyn:** BOOKEROOS!!!

 **Dewey:** From all the way across the DW Hideout, full force.

* * *

**Dewey:** So today, as a prank, I made a sheet music print out of Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball” and replaced the name with “Christmas Time Meditation” and deleted the words, and I’m gonna put it in with the church music and see if the pianist notices.

_**[A while later]** _

**Dewey:** He noticed, and now I can add “yelled at by two priests” to my list of accomplishments.

* * *

**Lena, as a young child, probably:** I hope something good happens!

 **Lena, now:** I hope whatever bad thing happens, it’s at least pretty funny.

* * *

**Louie, holding up a minion plush:** I won this ugly yellow toddler. Which is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

* * *

**Lena:** I have a new hoodie.

 **Webby:** _We_ have a new hoodie.

* * *

**Dewey:** Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

 **Huey:** Dewey, no.

 **Louie:** Mistlefoe.

 **Huey:** Louie, please stop encouraging him.

* * *

**Webby, in a tough guy voice:** You best be lovin’ yourself.

 **Lena, also in a tough guy voice:** Yeah? Whatcha gonna do about it?

 **Webby:** Them’s huggin’ words!

* * *

**Huey:** Where’s Dewey?

 **Louie:** Probably off somewhere disappointing Jesus.

* * *

**Violet:** Something terrible is going to happen to you.

 **Lena:** How did you come to that conclusion?

 **Violet:** The signs are everywhere.

 **Violet:** Your tea leaves for example.

 **Violet, pointing at Lena’s cup:** A rabbit with a dagger in it’s back.

 **Violet:** An unseen threat awaits us.

 **Lena:** To me, it looks like Sonic eating a pretzel.

 **Violet:** Even worse.

* * *

**Webby:** I think we should adopt another kid.

 **Lena:** No.

 **Webby:** Why?

 **Lena:** Because by ‘kid’ you mean ‘lizard’ and we already have 50.

 **Webby, reaching into her pocket:** Actually, 51…

* * *

**Lena:** Why don’t you captchalogue a better attitude and allocate a better personality to your strife specibus?

 **Gosalyn:** Wow, way to assume I have enough grist for that.

 **Lena:** You. You get it.

 **Everyone else:** _What the fu-_

* * *

**Violet:** You’re smiling.

 **Violet:** Did something happen?

 **Lena:** Can’t I just smile because I feel like it?

 **Webby:** Magica tripped and fell in the Walmart parking lot.

* * *

**Gosalyn:** Today my diet consisted of Five Guys and Popeyes, so I’m probably gonna live forever.

 **Dewey:** You ate… five whole people…

 **Gosalyn:** Six, counting Popeye.

* * *

**Huey:** Thinking about how milk jugs are so perfectly designed; not a bit of wasted space. The handle is part of the container as well and you can clearly see how much of the liquid is left. Genius. I’m thinking of eating a mushroom growing in my front yard, whole. If even one person is nice to me today, I will kiss them on the lips.


End file.
